Mon 2/7 — So here we are, Ushuaia. I could swear this is Argentina and not Chile as we've said for over a year. — It is Argentina. I made a mistake. Whatever, Chile is right there across the river. — How the fuck are we supposed to know where we are going if we don't even know where we are going FROM? Tues 2/8 — The boat is blowminding! — Mindblowing. — Do you like the crew? — Yeah, but I am not sure about the doctor. He kissed me and he doesn't look like a doctor. Weds 2/9 am — Are you really a doctor? — Mais bien sur!! — So what is the worst medical emergency you have ever experienced? — Once I worked on a speedcar rally and a car smashed into the crowd. I was the only doctor working so saved five people's lives single handedly. — That's cool. Weds 2/9 pm — What are we waiting for? — One person is still missing, dont worry, we'll sail before dark. — It never gets dark here! Thurs 2/10, 1:50pm — The stars! — Once I was sailing alone in the North Atlantic. I had all these stars above in the sky, fluorescent algae all around in the water below and dolphins jumping along on my side. — What a psychedelic trip! Maybe you were on LSD? — No, reality. Thurs 2/10, 4pm — Are you OK? — Yeah, it feels really exceptionally great just immediately after throwing up. Thurs 2/10, 8pm — We just passed Cape Horn — What's there? — There's a monument to all the lost sailors. They turn into albatrosses and follow new boats. — Look, an albatross! Fri 2/11, 2am. — Fresh bread! I can't believe you baked fresh bread! — But you didn't eat, would you like some coffee, tea, whiskey, soda, water? — No I can't, please don't take it personally. I am on an Antarctic diet. Fri 2/11, 1pm — How many times have you been to Antarctica? — 14 — In how many years? — 15. In 1993, I didn't go. — Oh. Fri 2/11, 6pm — It's freezing now, and the water is not perfectly blue anymore. — We've just crossed the Convergence, we're now in Antarctic waters, everything changes here. Fri 2/11, 8pm — 8pm, we've done nothing all day, everyone's asleep. — Save your energy, it's enough for your body just to counter the power of the waves. — It feels like being inside a car wash on a rollercoaster that never stops. Sat 2/12, 11am — It is raining. — Is it raining men? — No. Sat 2/12, 2pm — You're not asleep like everyone else? — Someone's gotta keep an eye on the doctor. Sat 2/12, 3pm — Change of the guard! — Not the guard, change of the watch. — What's happening out there? — Not much, we're lazy sailors. Sat 2/12, 4pm — My laptop just died, I need to call tech support. Sat 2/12, 6pm — Two more days of open water. It's supposed to get rough tomorrow. — What will happen? — The wind will turn against us, sea will be fucked, everyone onboard will be fucked. — My laptop just woke up! Sat 2/12, 8pm — Nosebleed. — Its from too much sleeping. — I am glad we have a doctor on board. Whats for dinner? — Lasagna! I like this music, its like theyre trying to take over the world. — Who? Sat 2/12, 11:50pm — Doctor, I think she needs help. — No, she's just stretching. — I just invented a new Yoga pose, look, it takes the double effort to balance. — It's snowing, it's snowing, everyone come out on deck! Sun 2/13, 1:50am — This is a public warning. Be careful when you're out. We're having freaky weather. It's a lot of it about. — That's Blur. Sun 2/13, 1pm — How did you end up on this boat? — I used to work on cargo ships. We'd go to Africa for red wood. Somebody knew somebody. They needed an engineer. Two days later I was on board. It's a dream to be here. — Really, you seem so bored. — It's just now, not much to do. Soon things will start breaking and we'll get busy. Sun 2/13, 11am — Sunny day — Yes, but very windy. The sea is very big and beautiful today. Sun 2/13, 11:30am — I've never seen anything this beautiful in my life. The sunny glow on these gigantic waves...come outside for a while, you'll feel better. — Thanks I can see it from here. — It's not the same. Sun 2/13, 1pm — What happened last night, it's all zigzaggy. — We lost the stay sail and now were doing 6 knots without any sails at all. We've changed the course, we can't head straight for Marguerite bay in this wind anyway. — Are we drifting? — Nah, drifting would be pure aimlessness. We have a goal in mind, call it sailing without sails. Sun 2/13, 2pm — Everyone's awake and hungry and we've got roast beef for lunch. — I am going outside to shoot. — Be careful. — Of what? Sun 2/13, 2:15pm — Are we under the ozone hole yet? — You bet. — Forget sunscreen, you'll need a hat. The sun burns everything. — Who's fault is it? — Average consumer Joe's fault. Sun 2/13, 7pm — There was a halo around the sun? — I missed it, but did you see the first icebergs? — I missed that. — But you saw the snow, we missed that. — I made a snowman, you missed that. Sun 2/13, 7:30pm — Better wake up the captain, we've got a new low pressure coming and this one is worse than last nights. The mother is coming. — This is the theme from the Love Boat. — It's the karaoke version. Have a piece of my peach. — We'll need to take shelter and anchor by an island. — There's an island? — Here, juggle my apples! — Who wants beer? — We are 15 hours away from any land. — Is that your trumpet? — They made chocolate cake. — Somethings hit the boat from behind. There's a mark. — An Octopus? Mon 2/14, 11am — S.O.S Darling can you hear me? You seem so far away though you were standing near. S.O.S. Darling. — It is Valentine's Day today. — Is it Monday? — I dreamt of Moscow and my mother and dogs. — I dreamt of my mother too, her face full of ladybirds. — Ladybugs. — What day is it? Mon 2/14. 11:45am — 5th day on the sea and still nobody's have had a fight. — How long have you been married? — We're not married, we're just trying to live together. — How long have you been trying? — Five years. Mon 2/14, 11:48am — Can I look at your photos? — Are we going here? — Yes, but that iceberg is not there anymore. — He brought his cats to Antarctica! — He brought his cats to Antarctica? — He brought his cats to Antarctica. — Is it Monday today? Mon 2/14, 12pm — Do you have black thread? — Can I have a patch too? — It's the unofficial one, penguin on acid. — Mine is blank. — Your sock is almost finished. — The official patch has the destination, Marguerite Bay, on it. — We'll be the first boat there this year. — Isn't it too soon to celebrate? — I love the blank orange. I love it. — I had that made before I left Paris. — It's beautiful. You made it? — This is a German gas bill. Isn't it awesome? Mon 2/14, 3pm — WHOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA — How long is it? — I'll tell you in a second. One kilometer long. — How high is it? — It's flat, like a tanker. Let's build a city on top. — Careful. Hold on to the Doctor. — You're barefoot? — And a church. — It's shaped like a V. One kilometer each way. — I can't believe I am here. — Your jacket is not made for rain. — You are here. — Let's go around it. Mon 2/14, 3:25pm — Andrea, thanks for getting wet and holding on to me and the camera when I was hanging over the railing in the strong wind. I am so glad. Finally we've bonded over something. — Yes, but my name is not Andrea. Mon 2/14, 3:30pm — I am a girl.v — Yes you are, here's some lipstick. — Photo op for the official web site. — Look at that English Rose sailing. All other roses would be dead by now and you are in full bloom! — Girls always take off their clothes when I shoot. — It's a natural reflex we have. Mon 2/14, 5pm — So we're keeping the exposed film in front of the toilets. — Don't flush! Mon 2/14, 6pm — Another iceberg. — You've seen one, you've seen them all. — This one is pointy. — Is it real? — Plastic, we put it there in January. Mon 2/14, 7pm — Earth, Earth!! — Not Earth, Land. — She is asking if you can cook Kiwi in the oven. — Just when I started to get used to seasickness. — Start to get used to landsickness. — Yes, it is good for tenderizing meat. — Let me peel the potatoes. — Need help? — No. — I'll help you. — No. Mon 2/14, 7:32pm — FUCK! Did we just hit on ground? — I told you it's too early to celebrate. — Are they OK? — Are we OK? — We're OK. — OK. Mon 2/14, 8pm — I didn't expect to see rock. I thought it would all be covered by ice. — Well no, the penguins lay their eggs on the rocks, not in the snow. — There is so much I didn't know. — There is so much we all don't know. Mon 2/14, 8:30pm — All the real men went off to explore land. — Everyone else is watching TV. — We didn't watch TV all the way over! — We were too sick to watch it. Mon 2/14, 9:25pm — The explorers are back! — Who did you meet, any rednecks? — We met 3 penguins. — The official welcome. — It's just another world! Another world on Earth. — Let's eat. Mon 2/14, 11pm — Champagne!! — What's this, the downtown pub? — You want a gin and tonic? — Sure, on the rocks, where's the ice? — Right here baby, were surrounded by it. — Can you believe this ice is older than Jesus? Mon 2/14, 11:15pm — So Captain, does this place, this land we hit, have a name? — No, actually, it doesn't. I had trouble logging it. You've arrived on an unnamed island. Tues 2/15, 1am — 65º25'S, 65º21'W. It's one hour past Valentine's Day here on Antarctica. We've finally hit virgin land after five days at sea and everyone on board is blessed out and silly. We're playing records (iPods, CD 's, iTunes) and thinking of everyone we love back home, loving everyone we like to think of. So with this one hour delay, let us send you our Valentine's Kisses. A very special one comes from our Lady Captain, to all Captains out there braving the waters. Imagine, ships passing each other at night, one Captain on board each ship and maybe they will never meet. So if you have someone near you, hold on to them, tight! Good night. Tues 2/15, 8:30am — Here's your breakfast song. — It's so sad — Snowstorm today. — Are all the men leaving again? Can you at least leave one here so I can start a new tribe if you all die? — The Doctor is staying, he's good stock. — And he'll even deliver the babies. Tues 2/15, 11:30am — It's the most perfect snow. I've made a snowwoman on deck, with flowers, a gin bottle and a construction worker's hat. She's a working girl and she misses her man who went off and drowned at sea. Will you pose with me and my snowwoman? — Later, I've got work to do. — What's the problem? — A pipe is stuck. — So? Is that a reason to look so grumpy? — If he can't fix it in two hours we're fucked. — What happens when we're fucked, will someone pick us up from here? — No, we'll be seriously fucked. — It's a modern world, nobody gets seriously fucked anymore. — Artists are just big children. — You've only figured that out now? — You've confirmed my suspicion. — We're also the vehicle of civilization. But you are the hero of today for fixing the pipe. Now, will you pose with me and my snowwoman? — OK, then. Tues 2/15, 1pm — We saw lots of seal. — Strangely, free seal don't look any different than seal in captivity. — They sound a bit different. — Maybe they say' "I am free" and the captive seal say, "Get me out of here!" — No, I don't think so. Seals do whatever they want wherever they are. It's just a matter of location. Tues 2/15, 3pm — I just cleaned the snow off the deck. — Have some hot chocolate. — How did you make it so thick? — A secret ingredience, two teaspoons of Maizena flour. If you would make chocolate this thick with only chocolate, it would be so bitter you couldn't drink it. This way, it's a much better experience. Thick but not bitter. — Thick but not bitter at all. Tues 2/15, 6pm — Peel the carrots. — I just got back from diving to look at the keel. — That the Octopus hit? — Here's his underwater movie, so cool. — It's the best movie I've ever seen, like looking at your own intestines. — The water is so blue! — And the light is so light! — And it goes on and on! Tues 2/15, 7pm — Are we staying here one more night? — We havn't run out of lettuce yet. — We have to, there's still a storm outside. — I saw this great movie with a guy who lost all his memory for his brain got no vitamins in six weeks. Tues 2/15, 8pm — I would like to speak English better. — Let's have a little conversation about your cooking. — If this is not too hot, what is it? — How do you say sour in French? — Sweet caviar? — No, like bad wine, and your bread, sourdough. — You mean bland? tasteless? — Yes, the opposite of hot. — Aha! Salt! Tues 2/15, 11:30pm — Who wants a wakeup call in the morning, well be leaving at 5. — Is there any ice cream left? — We have a freezer on board? Tues 2/15, 11:30pm — I just walked out on deck for a cigarette. There is this twilight, all the stars and the icebergs around us. The DVD player is connected to the speaker out there so I could hear the soundtrack of the movie we are watching. The special effect sounds against all of this, and it just hit me: I am in Antarctica. Tues 2/16, 1am — Who wants a wakeup call; were leaving this place at 5. — Get on the highway, all sonded route for the next day ahead. — It's not called the highway. — Now it is. Tues 2/16, 10am — Whale, whale! — Where, where? — There! — Where? Tues 2/16, 12am — A huge field of brash ice over there. — Soup! — Can we go into it? — Let's go. — Supercool! Tues 2/16, 12:30 — We're stuck. — We're stuck. — He just said we are stuck. — Are we stuck? — Can we go backwards? — We're stuck. S.T.U.C.K. — We're stuck in the ice. — For how long? — This is NOT a movie. Tues 2/16, 12:45 — Is he really going to walk on the ice? — He's already doing it, look outside. — Is he going to dig us out? — No, he is only stretching his legs. — Like Jesus. Tues 2/16, 1:25 — Turn off all laptops. — Turn off the music. — Turn off the hairdryer. — Turn off the chargers. — Turn off the teapot. — What's for dinner? — Sandwiches. Tues 2/16, 1:45pm — We also want to walk on ice. — Like Jesus. — Can we use the toilets? — Girls can, boys please pee outside. Tues 2/16, 1:46pm — Look, a lonely penguin is approaching the boat. — Maybe he is bringing a message. — Let it be, let it be, there will be an answer, let it be, let it be. Tues 2/16, 2pm — Something is missing. Where is the doctor? — In his cabin, he's sick today. — He wore his sarong barefoot on deck last night. — I knew it. Tues 2/16, 2:45pm — Now we all want to walk on ice. — Like Jesus. — I just spoke with the BBC and Radio France. — Are they going to dig us out? — Does NASA know we are here? Tues 2/16, 2:55pm — How did the penguin get here? — It swam probably. — Penguins swim? Tues 2/16, 3:45pm — We walked on the ice, all they way over there. — You looked so small in the big white nothing, did you have epiphanies? — What's that? — The emergency generator is on. You can plug everything back in. — Just save water. — Drink wine; not tea. Tues 2/16, 4pm — We just got a call from the owner of the boat; he says Hello to everyone. — I told you it's a modern world. Is he upset? — He's happy were trying it out for next year when the boat will be frozen into the North polar ice for a year. — A year? Tues 2/16, 4:30pm — Is he worried about his movie? — No, he doesn't have a script. — We do. Tues 2/16, 7pm — OK, I get the movie: Every morning we wake up, eat fresh bread and things are good. Then something breaks and everything is fucked. Then you fix it and then it starts over again. — Yes, that's it. Tues 2/16, 9pm — Bof, I ate too much! — The Chef ate too much. — The Doctor is sick. — The Captain is stuck. Thurs 2/17, 6am — We tried; were still stuck. — How could you let this happen, you all have so much experience. — We've never experienced this before. Thurs 2/17, 10am — Today is Tuesday? — Thursday. — We've been gone for one week. — What's happening in the world? — Maybe the War is over? — What War? — Iran? Thurs 2/17, 11am — No, in those days Russia didn't have a film industry. — The woman I used to live with played music all day. — You know, the style of Attenborough, all static. — Honey on the lamb? — I made it all abstract. — Cool. — That's why the Japanese invented the walkman. — Even the Greeks knew that the Earth was round. — The cockpit looks like a cockpit. — It's the blue sky. — They changed the narrative too, now lions don't just lay around and sleep anymore. — He's done away with Evolution? fucking moron. — What's the effect of our proximity to the South Pole? — Just look at his hair. Thurs 2/17, 1:15pm — Look at you, après ski, want a Margarita? — Even the seals are sunbathing. — Maybe this shit will melt away. — Frozen please. — You'll get burned, we're under the ozone hole. — Just five minutes. — It's your face. Thurs 2/17, 1:25pm — You've got a phone call. — Is that the BBC? — What's happening? Are we leaving? — It's the phone. — Not for you. Thurs 2/17, 3pm — He is climbing up to the top of the mast? — Me too! — What's the point of bringing your mega zoom camera to the top of the mast when you can just stay here on the ground and take the same picture? — The point is to climb up to the top of the mast and take the same picture. Thurs 2/17, 5pm — The previous owner got killed on this boat by pirates. — Would it be sacreligous to make a pirate flag? — No, but illegal. — I wish we had dynamite so we could blow ourselves out of this mess. — How long have we been stuck here? — I am starting to like it here, the quiet. This morning I was thinking what music to put on and I decided to leave it silent. — 36 hours. — Perfect time to make it then. Lets get saved and arrested. Thurs 2/17, 6pm — It's a Christmas meal, lamb. Carrots and raisins! — Sweetness. — On a regular Thursday. Thurs 2/17, 7pm — Three women sowing. We should sing, then we are complete. — What song does everybody know? — Silver! We'll be the disco pirates. — I just called to say I love you; I just called to say how much I care. — Craft is the new art. — Gin and Tonic? — The captain want us to make a pair of tanga panties out of this fabric. — I just called to say I love you; I just called to say how much I care. — Just fold it over and attach it on the other side. — There was a time when everybody used sequins, now only drag queen use it. — The 80's — I just called to say I love you; I just called to say how much I care. — Did you go to art school in Japan? — I got kicked out. — I just called to say I love you; I just called to say how much I care. Thurs 2/17, 7.:15pm — I saw an eagle. — Not here. — It flew into my face. Thurs 2/17, 7:30pm — The North Face. — Patagonia. — Nike. — Astrolabe. — Mammut. — H&M. — The jeans are market. — My underwear is by American Apparel. — Smartwool. — Musto. — Highland. — Helly Hansen. — I never wear branded stuff at home. — It's the extreme sport experience. — I couldn't get insurance coverage for kajaking. Thurs 2/17, 11pm — Here is the solution, Look at this old photo. Schackleton's men tried to dig out their boat themselves. — They failed, it got crushed and they ate their dogs. Friday 2/18, 8am — You're watching Big Blue?? — I've seen it 20 times, it's the movie that made me leave France and go diving in all the world's seas. I am an astrological Fish. — And a Doctor. — I hate this film, the guy is mean to the girl. — She just said she wants a baby, a dog, and a garage, so he left. — He had to do what he had to do. — Did he have to fuck her first? — She wanted it. — Life is a game. — I havn't heard from the guy who promised to take care of my dog for over two months. — At least it wasn't a kid. — My dog weighs 40kilo. Friday 2/18, 9am — This morning I felt this trip is the best thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life. I feel so pure. The boat is amazing, you are all so wonderful. Even in this being stuck, I feel I have experienced something so profound and exciting and real at the same time. I really want to thank you. — It's your turn to clean the toilets. Friday 2/18, 11am — The wind has turned, its opening up, we'll be going soon. — Wear a hat. — Bring flowers. — Champagne! Friday 2/18, 12pm — Can you stop shoveling snow off the deck, I am trying to record sound when theyre shooting the boat leaving. — I am shoveling the snow for them so that they can shoot the boat leaving. — They just told me to records sound. — They just told me to shovel snow. — OK then, shovel for a bit and then I'll record. — OK, record now, I'll shovel later. — The boat is leaving. — Can you take a picture of us shoveling snow and recording sound? — Hey stop taking pictures and come over here and shovel snow! Friday 2/18, 1pm — Yihaa!! — Icebergs! — Whale! — Where? — Seal! — Birds! — Icebergs! — Whale! — Where? — Seal! — Birds! — I love your glasses. — It's so cool to be smoking cigarettes as we sail out of the ice into open water! — Icebergs! — Whale! — Where? — Seal! — Birds! — Icebergs! — Whale! — Seal! — Birds! Friday 2/18, 1:30pm — I am shooting the movie about the movie. — I am shooting you. — Can you shoot him? — He just shot them. — Can you all move over to the other side, we are shooting here. Friday 2/18, 2pm — I think of this as my holiday. — What's your regular job? — I am the Captain on a private luxury yacht in St.Tropez, great pay but it gets pretty boring. — Katherine Deneuve's? — No, why? — She's French. — No, the owner is American. — Puff Daddy? Friday 2/18, 3pm — What's wrong? — I don't even know where to start explaining this to you. I am fed up and tired, the boat is tired and pushed too hard, everything keeps breaking, I constantly need to fix things, we can't get anything around here and I rather spend my time with the people than down in the engine room all the time. — You are doing a great job. — Thanks. Its cool to know you are not angry things get fucked up. — We don't know anything, we're happy being stuck even. — Everything is perfect. Friday 2/18, 4pm — Do you see this as your job or your holiday? — It's more of a means, to travel, to meet people. Of course we have work to do and responsibilities, but I choose to do it. I feel very lucky. — Even the cleaning part? — It only takes 15minutes to clean the toilets, but that we all do it is very important for the community on board. It's like a hippie commune that way. We are all complete as individuals, but we depend on each other and share all of this together. — I love that about this. Where are the toilet cleaning supplies? — Under the round thing in the shower. — The sink. — Sink, you call it a sink? Yes, sink, sink. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sink man. Friday 2/18, 7pm — I think it's time we organize a soccer game between the crew and the artists. — That would be organized sport; you are not insured for that, remember? — Are we allowed to play Bingo? Friday 2/18, 8pm — The Captain says that after 15 days on board everyone will start having the same thoughts and be repeating each other's words exactly. — I doubt it, I still feel like an individual. — Me too. — Me too. — Me too. — Me too. — Me too. Saturday 2/19, 5am — The engine woke me up. You have the best watch. It's so beautiful and everyone is alseep so its all yours. — This boat is a dream come true, the dream is right here. No boat can do what this boat can do. — — — — — — — — Saturday 2/19, 11am — She is sleeping. — She was up at five. — God morning. — Re—Good morning to you. — Everyone is up at all their own hours. — It's because we have our watches. — And we have no script. Saturday 2/19, 11:30am — You just opened a new Nutella? How many tons of Nutella do we have on board? — I don't know, only that if there wasn't any, I wouldn't be here. Saturday 2/19, 12pm — The Doctor wants to name his daughter Sven. — No, I said Swell, it's such a beautiful name, good for a boy or a girl. — Sven and Swell could be good. Sven for the girl. Saturday 2/19, 12:30pm — Why were you up at five? — The engine woke me up, it's beautiful AND I get to be alone with the watchman in the cockpit. Saturday 2/19, 12:45pm — What is he doing sitting all the way up front for hours? — Probably just looking out at the sea in front of us. — Do sailors arrive to existential meaning when they do that? — No, they totally shut off and become vegetables. Saturday 2/19, 1pm — What should I do with all this fleece when I get home? — Give it to the Salvation Army. Saturday 2/19, 1:30pm — WHAOOOOOOAAA!!!! — It's so blue! — And so high! — It looks like Yosemite. — It looks Jewish. Saturday 2/19, 2pm — What's the foam on the water? — Pollution? — Someone had a shower? — Pollution? — Is it pollution when you have a shower? — Foam on the water is pollution. — A boat. The Russians are coming! — It's the Ukrainian base. — Hello. — Hello. Saturday 2/19, 2:30pm — It looks like Switzerland under water. — It's the Kodak valley. Named in the 70's. — Not officially. — By the first tourist to Antarctica. — Take 70's photos! Saturday 2/19, 2:31pm — Lots of small icebergs ahead. — This boat can handle them easy. — Crunch. — Stop!! — Go right — Go left — Go right — Go left — Go right — Go left — Go right — Go left — Go right — Go left — Go right — Go left — Take a picture. — Where did my seal go? — Flashes! — Tourists! — They're shooting us! — Smile! Saturday 2/19, 8:30pm — Anchor time. — Dinner time. — Here are the avocado's for your Guacamole. — We've been out all day. — Here's your headache pill. — You really are a Doctor. — Yes. — Have you ever delivered any babies? — Yes, two; both emergency deliveries for women in cars. — Were they named after you? — No, these days doctors are not considered divine. It's a job and I see it as a job, but I have retired now. — Retired? You are still very young. — Yes, but I wanted to change everything in my life around. If you really want to make a change, you have to change it all; your country, your wife and your job. — What was wrong with the old wife, did she want a garage? — She didn't know what she wanted and she wanted it from me. Lets just say I am not a very lucky guy. — What's luck got to do with it? — OK, I am not a very serious guy. — You had to do what you had to do, so you left. — Yes, you can say that. — See, when a woman wants a garage, you better give it to her or it won't work. — I know, but I need to change everything around every 3 years. — What about you? — I was married for 15 years and now I am divorced. — How much do you know about what your ex is doing now? — Nothing, I hope. — Isn't it strange to be so close to someone for so long and then be completely estranged? — Very strange. In the beginning you think you'll have these parallel lives, checking in, maintaining a dialogue. But its more like stepping off a Greyhound bus in the middle of the Nevada desert, wroooooom. — And you? — I have been with the same woman for 18 years but we are not married. Our kids want us to get married but we don't. — And you? — I just spoke on the phone with the guy who has my dog. I said, 'Why didn't you call to say she is OK?' He said, 'Sorry, I was so busy'. Saturday 2/19, 9:30pm — Peanuts? — It's Saturday night. — I got these drums in Ushuaia just before departure. — This is called an Apero. The French need to shorten everything. — Cheers all around, I love this happy hour. — It's because this table is higher and it feels like a bar. — We are having Chinese. — Delivered? — Did you just play the drums in the rain outside? — I play in jazz bands at home. — Minestrone with soy sauce. — We should translate our French conversations for her. — Don't worry, it's a natural filter for your bullshit not to understand a word. — But the last five minutes we didn't bullshit. We discussed how differently everyone perceives this trip, of being in Antarctica. — Some are zombies. — For you it is obviously Christmas every day. — I have dreamt of traveling like this since I was a child, so with no money I became a sailor. This is a dream come through. — Yes, but its different for everyone. Some people only need to smoke a cigarette and check it out once a day and that's cool too. — I don't understand it. — So it's you who don't understand it. — Everyone is perfect. — Everything is perfect. — Pimento? Sunday 2/20, 1:30am — I borrowed the money from a guy, his sister has a sandwich shop. — Let's smoke. — Let's sleep. Sunday 2/20, 10am — I don't know what day it is any longer, I am just guessing. — Sailors don't take weekends. — Did you see any cockroaches yet? — They are. — Here. Sunday 2/20, 11am — The shore. — This place looks exactly like the west coast where I grew up, we didnt have sandy beaches, the rocks on the shores were polished by the ice age, it's the same weather too. — The penguins look so much like humans. — That's why humans like them so much. — I totally feel like home here. Sunday 2/20, 12pm — These snow boots are really heavy. — You're going skiing? You look fucking insane. What should we tell your wife, you died a happy man? — I just need to remember not to dive in these shoes. Sunday 2/20, 1pm — I want to be a nature photoytmlbv. — What? Sunday 2/20, 7pm — We are playing backgammon. — They went back to Earth. — Is it raining again? — We did ski next to penguins. — Here is the Guacamole. — Snowstorm. — Beer? — The snow is so wet, it just locks. — Make lanterns out of snowballs on deck for tonight. — In France we make them out of petit fours on weddings. — In Argentina I made one out of oranges, the skin was carved too. — Like an American pumpkin. — What's that got to do with a Swedish snowball lantern? — We shot in the snowstorm. — Can you make it out of tomatoes? — They started waving like crazy. — She had to come down from the mountain. — Never been this cold. — You are not wearing any hat. — I grew up in this weather, this is not cold at all. — After you have a baby your whole body will change. That's what happened to me. I am always freezing now. — I am not pregnant, and anyway, what's that got to do with my head? Sunday 2/20, 8.30pm — Dinnertime. — Who's socks are these? — Who's socks are these?? — Who's socks are these??? — And; who's socks are these???? Sunday 2/20, 10pm — I just lit the snow lanterns on deck. — Ooooooh! — Aaaaaah! — They can bee seen from really far away. — Yes, and fire on deck is the international symbol for distress. — S.O.S. then, and good glorious southern wintery night. Sunday 2/20, 11pm — You've totally inspired me to build something out of ice. — Build what? — Dunno, I was thinking a bowl maybe. — Good idea. Sunday 2/20, 11:30pm — Sorry we were late for dinner. — Oh no, I am glad you had things to do. — What did you do? — We went shopping. — For icebergs. Monday 2/21, 1am — He's making an ice bowl sculpture. — I put kiwi's on the bottom and attached them on string with masking tape. It will freeze overnight. — It's genius. — He says he is totally inspired to become an artist. — Really, a week ago he called me a big child. — I think he is on a completely new path of life. — Hopefully we all are. Monday 2/21, 1:30am — So tomorrow is the big shooting day, we're getting up at 6 and transporting all the equipment to the shore with the Zodiaks. — Can everyone wear yellow? — Am I a character? — Yes, you are. — In the afternoon, we are building an igloo. — You can use the chainsaw for that. Monday 2/21, 8am — Good morning — Sugar? — Real men don't take any sugar. — Are we real? — Hey. — The wind changed overnight, we had to move. — A leopard seal was playing with the anchor. — My ice bowl didn't freeze because of all the movement. — Maybe there is an anti—freeze agent in kiwi? — It's your technology that suck. — It needs improvement. — Try a two—step process. The bottom needs to freeze first. — I'll try another day. Monday 2/21, 7pm — We're starving, over. — The food is on its way, over. — He flew his kite. — They climbed on the floating icebergs. — They inflated the bubble. — They decorated the boat. — They hoisted the pirate flag. — They invited their neighbors. — They discovered life in the water. — They drove the zodiacs really fast. — They ate food out in the open. — They threw snowballs and objects. — They crushed ice. — They were chased by leopard seals. — They walked across the water on the pebbles. — They talked bullshit on the radio. — They checked out the view. — The saw the boat from above. — They waved to each other. — They all went skiing. — They got wet and dried again. — They climbed the highest mountain. — They saw two penguins fucking on the ridge. — It was the happiest day of their lives. Monday 2/21, 9pm — I have to go back, I lost the handle to my string for the kite. — What color is it? — White. Monday 2/21, 11:30pm — Lets have a party. — I am going to sleep. Tuesday 2/22, 11am — We partied all night, I danced to Satie. — I didn't hear anything. — We're leaving this place. — The boat is crushing the ice. — I lost my camera overboard. — Spacejunk now. — You are not allowed to leave anything behind. — Or take anything back. — I found a coke bottle. — Someone else will find your camera. — In one million years. Tuesday 2/22, 7pm — Paradise Bay — It looks like a 360º — I see whales. — I see you. — We see each other, whale watchers. — What do whales eat? — Each other? — You could be the Iron chefs from Japan. — And the secret ingredient is Krill!! Tuesday 2/23, 7am — What the fuck! — Are you crashing the boat into the icebergs on purpose to wake everyone up? — Yes, is it working? — Yes, it is working. Tuesday 2/23, 12pm — So many penguins — So much penguin shit. — So many cadavers and bones. — Is this the Cannibal Island? — No, they don't eat each other. — Who is their enemy? — The eagle. — Why doesn't he eat their feet? — Too chewy. — À table! — À table! — À table! — What's for lunch? — Grill chicken. — Delicious! — So many cadavers and bones. Tuesday 2/23, 3pm — Is the washing machine working? — Yes it is working. — I can't get it to work. — It's because the handle is broken. — So it is broken? — No it is working, isn't that obvious? — No. Tuesday 2/23, 5pm — Did you break something again? — No I replaced it. — Nobody can be this busy. You must be breaking things at night, only to be fixing them during the day. — Yes, and sometimes I take baths in the machine oil to smell good and stay healthy. — Yes, and it's because you love it. Tuesday 2/23, 11pm — The light is pulsating behind the mountain. — When are they coming back? Tuesday 2/23, 12pm — They are coming back. — We can't get back to the boat because of the ice, over. — Enjoy the adventure, over. Thursday 2/24, 12pm — Ooh, I like this song. — The Carpenters, 'Strength of a Woman'. — Let's dance! — Let's get married! — On deck! — Now! — What a honeymoon! — On ice! Thursday 2/24, 11:30pm — The chef went skiing. — I am cooking today. — Margharitas. — The Captain is asleep. — I am putting up my drawings with blue masking tape. — On top of everything. — It will come off. — This is a very exclusive vernissage, VIP's only. — You're not invited, get off the boat. — Popcorn? — So, what do you do for a living? — We're leaving at 4. — Never heard of Cindy Sherman? — No, that must have been John Wayne. — The highest mountain, really? — No, 4 in the morning. — They were the first to cross the peninsula in bathing suits. — They slept in tents all the way. — I just really like her face, so calm. — I miss my son, he is almost a teenager. — It got very hot inside the boat, but we still slept there on the crossing over. — He will get acne soon. — I know, but there is nothing you can do about it. — Can we go kajaking at night? — I am cooking today. — Still? — We need 16 plates. — We are 16? — Isn't it wonderful to watch him enjoy his cooking so much? — Yes, but it's past midnight now and I am starving. — Voila! — Where is your husband? — Drunk, and in bed. — Not in yours though. — Isn't it always like this? Friday 2/25, 2am — Step in the middle and find the balance before you sit down. — This is so exciting, kajaking at night and into the sunrise! — I brought the video camera and iceberg climbing gear. — I brought the disco lights! — Let's go! — You can hear the ice breaking off the glaciers. — You can hear the waves from the ocean. — You can hear your own breath. — But it's sooooooo peaceful here. — Whats's that? — A leopard seal two meters from the kajak. — I was hoping it would be a whale. — Let's go back. — Why? — It's probably hunting at night. — For what, krill? — No, leopard seals eat meat, and the occasional dinghy. Last year a leopard seal ate a whole diving scientist, a woman from England. He dragged her down to 80 meters depth, twice, like a yo-yo. The Brits stopped their diving program after that. — Why didn't you tell me this before? — I didn't think you wanted to know. Friday 2/25, 7am — How was the kajaking? — OK, nothing much happened, we were only out for 1/2 hour before getting scared by a leopard seal in the water and turned back. Friday 2/25, 8am — How was the kajaking? — Oh, pretty good, we had an albino leopard seal circling the kajak. Friday 2/25, 9am — How was the kajaking? — Amazing, we were attacked by an albino leopard seal with an enormous jaw, we could see its teeth as it bit into the kajak but we kept paddling really fast until it gave up on us and swam away. Friday 2/25, 10am — How was the kajaking? — Incredible, A leopard seal attacked us from behind and dragged him into the water, I hit it with the paddle in the head and saved his life. Friday 2/25, 11am — How was the kajaking? — Unbelivable, a leopard seal attacked the boat and we fell into the water, I got dragged down to 80meter depth where I struggled to get loose with my knife, cut its throat and then swam back to the boat through the bloody water in my ripped wet clothes. Friday 2/25, 1pm — Hey, stop playing the xylophone in the machine room! — I thought this was a good place to practice. — But there is a whale outside! — Where? — Here, just next to the boat! — And there! — And there! — And there! — Whale everywhere! — They're diving — They're jumping — Waterballet! — It only means their skin is itching. Friday 2/25, 2pm — We've started the crossing back, did everyone take a pill? — Yes, but I am drinking red wine with lunch. — Makes no difference, the wine affects your liver and your head, while the pill does wonders for your balance organs in your ear. — I am so glad everything is isolated. Friday 2/25, 3pm — Lets make a group photo in front of that last iceberg. — Half of the people are asleep. — Wake them first, then we'll steer towards the iceberg. — Before I manage to wake them up, the other half of the people will be asleep. — It's the last iceberg! — Fuck off, I am sleeping. — Everyone is on deck now. — Where is the iceberg? — They are steering towards it. — I am going back to sleep. — Now! — Smile! — I want to take the picture with my camera! — I want to take the picture with my camera! — I want to take the picture with my camera! — I want to take the picture with my camera! — Wait! — I want to take the picture with my camera! — Can't you just copy it? Sunday 27 — I feel more relaxed than I've felt ever. — You don't have to tell us that. — I think I've spaced out, I haven't written the log for days and it just feels like one long thing when you get up at all hours and sleep at all hours and everything is mellow. — The sea aint going anywhere. — It makes no sense whatsoever to count the time anymore. — When the Tsunami hit, we found out a week later. — But you are a boat! — So? Monday 28, 5am — Is it boring? — No, we have good books, we have good music. — What's this? — Scott Petersen. — I used to know a jazz musician in NY, very famous. He couldn't make a living in NY for he said Jazz was dead there, so he went to France to play where he was also very famous. — Never heard of him. — I like this, I never liked Jazz, but it works perfectly well here. Monday 28, 11am — So I said no to a 28 million movie to be with my family. — His baby sitter is a Hindu but he knows all the religions. — In the 70's you just fucked everybody. — Something is blowing up next to you every day, on the bus even. — The only difference is, she was smart enough to get paid and got herself through college that way. — I didn't. — The young Israelis, they're all pro-Palestinian now. — The kids called him a fag and got suspended for two weeks. — After 9/11 I couldn't let him take the bus anymore. — Boys that age are so delicate, they want to be cool but they still need their mom. — How do you say, 'Your socks smell like cheese', in French? — All the sailors on all the boats are gay. — Good, So are all artists. — They voted me the coolest mom in his school, it beats getting the Sundance award. — He has been an AA for 10 years. — But now, the kids in high school give each other blowjobs like they're having a drink together. — She married my father and moved to the country. — Try the firewire cable. — So, I returned home after 20 years, holding my baby, I could heal myself, and forgive. Monday 28, 12:30pm — Wine? — No water is fine. — You seem to handle the crossing back really well. — Yes, I think it's because of my yoga. — That's such a New Yorker thing to say. — But no, it's all about finding the balance. In the beginning, the first day, my body was all isolated from everything around it. Taking the pressure of the waves in the boat felt like being fucked by a gigantic truck driver. I've noticed that it's not until you stop resisting that it starts to feel good. — Ha! — It's not what you think. I mean, stop thinking about getting fucked, and become the fuck, transcend the movement against you, use it to your benefit. Now when I am balancing my body with the boat, it's like having a 250 ton body of my own, instead of being crushed by one. — Who wants mustard? — Thanks, Ketchup is all I need. Monday 28, 1:30pm — This is a photo of my son, he is 11 years old. — It's a girl! — No, it's a boy. — A beautiful girl with long hair and small features. — He is a boy. — Are you sure, did you check? — Oh yeah. — Imagine, if your kid was a hermaphrodite and people asked you, would you say how it was? Hm. Monday 28, 2pm — We just passed Cape Horn again. — I missed it. Monday 28, 3pm — Does being on a boat remind you of being on a film set? — Oh, very much so. The routines, the hierarchy, the daily bullshit, the sexual tension. — Is that good or bad? — Depends, sometimes it can lead to marriage, sometimes it can break marriages up, and sometimes, when it is handled very well, it leads to nothing. Monday 28, 5pm — You mean you even brought your piano to Antarctica? — Yes, I am a pianist. — Why didn't you play for us here? — But there is no piano here. — We have five Xylophones. — Yes, but I am a pianist. Monday 28, 9pm — So what are you going to do when you get back to Ushuaia? — Phone calls. — Surf the internet. — Read a newspaper. — Get laid. — We need to ship all the equipment back. Tuesday 1, 12am — Now! It is the Doctors birthday and he is on watch! — Bring out the champagne! — I can play happy birthday on the xylophone! — Me too! — Me too! — Me too! — Me too! Tuesday 1, 2am — This is my hot Latin dance music! — The Doctor is going mental. — He is only 35. Tuesday 1, 4am — Is the party over yet? — No. Tuesday 1, 6am — They were still partying, dancing, drinking and smoking, as I woke up for my watch, now they're asleep. — They could have stayed up one more hour to see the sunset. — I think they did see it, within themselves. Tuesday 1, 7am — So weird to see green stuff again, its so beautiful here. — These are forests. — We'll be back in Ushuaia and on land in two hours. Tuesday 1, 9am — Land. — I know, I know, so what? Tuesday 1, 11am — Why isn't anyone going on land? — What for? — I've got Stockholm syndrome. Tuesday 1, 1pm — I am making a survey, I have a last question for everyone on board: What is LOVE? — LOVE is sharing a cabin with a stranger for 3 weeks, hearing them snore and smelling their dirty socks. — Thank you.